Reflections on Tanzania, Africa

Use Your Weaknesses to Conquer‏
01/25/09

Dear Friends and Family,
January 12 is opening day for the new school year. This year I will teach English Form 1, Form 2 as well as Pre-Form. In my experiences as a student in the U.S.A., first days of school are typically full of excitement as you reunite with old friends and discover your new classrooms and teachers. Here at Imauluma Secondary School, the first day was not what I expected. Almost no one showed up for the first day of school. I later found out that VST decided to open during a holiday. Well that explained it. No one showed up because it was a national holiday. The next day however, the same situation happened. About ten students showed. Are the students coming back? What is going on? Did I miss something here?
Well, it's January 24th and currently our school population is almost back to normal. We have about forty-one Form 2 students back from last year, fifty plus Form 1 students and 10 Pre-form students. Here is another example of being flexible. It is really a value that needs to be put into practice here. Moreover, I do not think it's anyone's fault that they did not come on time. They are helping their parents dig and plant. It is the last few days before the heavy rain really start pouring. I also realized how tough it is to be in charge of tuition fees and realizing that students did not bring enough money for the registration form. They were just asked to simply go home and get the money. They do come back with the basic tuition fee.
This year Form 2 students return with renewed focus. They understand that the upcoming government exam in November is one hurdle they must pass. I have heard that some students were persuading their parents to invest in them despite the fact that they have other children to take care of. Money just does not come easy around the village, so paying 140,000 shillings (145 dollars) for one student in one year is a serious investment. For the students, they really have to spend countless hours reading their notes in the dark. With a help of a small candle or a tiny wick kerosene lamp, they do manage to do it. Along with serious studying, these students must also register their school. This means many hours of carrying bricks, sand and firewood. Thankfully, the work force has increased since we have a new batch of Form 1 students.
I do have one piece of good news. Do you remember my friend, Vincent? I invited him to come and share about his life during our first chapel service this past Thursday. He shared about how God has created Him this way for a special purpose. He shared about how important prayer was in his life during those times of loneliness and persecution from fellow classmates. He shared his slogan that says, "Use your weaknesses to conquer." The students were fixed on him and amazed at how he could read a Braille book of Psalms. They were witnessing someone just like them who is making his way to the university. This is someone who cannot see and yet has pushed through all the obstacles. Students were thanking me for inviting him to Imauluma. I wanted the students to realize that they can do what Vincent can do if they have the will and the sense to glorify God through it all. It is never easy, but when we take the time to take the focus out of ourselves anything is possible.
My final thoughts are these:
Students here want education badly. VST is trying to make it possible for everyone to have it. However, the process is never easy. Along the way are trials, setbacks, frustrations, irritations, doubts, hopelessness, and cynicism. It is here that God taps us on the shoulder and whispers, "Don't forget about me." Here is where we can choose to draw near to Him or ignore HIM. This is how God forms a true servant.
Pray for VST as we face a new year of just those things mentioned above. We need your prayers. Do it now. We need it. We will be facing some great tests ahead. I love you and I want to leave you with this Email from Steve Vinton. He is the Director of Village Schools International.
You pray for this man of God.
Steve's email (If you would like, go to www.villageschools.org and sign up for his mailing list)
Some days are just not good days.
The boys have been sick since this weekend. Susan is terribly sick and weak and cannot get out of bed. We are having those temporary "cash flow" problems here that are inherent and very normal, but that are just stressful right now as we try to juggle this and that. I have so much work to do, and have had so much to do these past few weeks that I feel simply overwhelmed with it all.
This morning I got up late simply because, well, simply because I did. The e-mail system was down again so I started the day knowing I am falling further and further behind on taking care of business on the American side of the world. I walked up the hill and found that Emmanueli had gotten up early and had already moved our big truck Mwanaume into position so that the students could unload all of the boards. The students were already hard at work unloading the hundreds of boards that Emmanueli had hauled last night and stacking them in one of the classrooms. But, my mind was not on watching them as they worked. I joked less with them this morning that I usually did, I rallied the troops a little less than normal - the truth was that I was deep in thought. As the boards were being unloaded I stood there and disappeared deep into my own little world where I could have the talk with God to tell Him really how tired I was, tired of everything seemingly being so frustrating right now, how nothing the last couple of weeks had been easy. Oh, the big picture of things was grand, grand indeed – and I knew in my heart that I shouldn't be sweating the proverbial "small stuff" – and I knew I should say in my heart "too blessed to be stressed" – because I know it's true, and yet, and yet I was not feeling that. I have not been feeling it. We have had victory after victory if you will since the beginning of the year. What could be more strategic than getting the approval finally to build a Community Treatment Center that will help hundreds of Susan's friends?
What could bring more happiness than the rather fantastic results of our students on the national exams? What was wrong with me? How could I not be happy seeing seven new wonderful missionary teachers and seeing them go through the training so well? We have another new school opening in a few days, we have been invited left and right to come to new villages, we are looking at the Minister of Education coming soon to visit us here in our little village, to see our school and to visit our students. And so I realized that it was useless to ask God to change my circumstances – things were as they say as good as they could get – the truth is that it was me inside that needed changing. I was not weary because of my circumstances, I was weary because of me. It was not the frustrations that were making me weary, it was simply me that was making me weary. I knew it. And yet…
My conversation with God and with my soul was interrupted many times in that hour our students were working unloading all of those boards. I remember at one point chuckling to myself and thinking that I need to have a shower here in our village because that is where I could have an uninterrupted conversation. As I look back on it, I guess I really wasn't listening to anything that people were asking me because I was in my own little world. I had agreed to talk to some kid Makande, our new school registrar, wanted me to talk to. I did not want to talk to anyone. I wanted to talk to myself, I wanted to talk to God. I wanted God to solve the problem of my heart. That is what I was asking him to do, to do something in my heart.
They finished the boards all too soon. With three hundred kids working, they finished unloading all of the boards in less than an hour. It was time to sing the national anthem, to start the school day, and I had to walk into the office and get going on my "in-box". Maybe God had listened to me, but he had not fixed my heart. I wanted Him to help me. I was as weary as ever. But, the show must go on, even if inside the actors don't feel up to acting. And, so, I walked into the building, down the hall heading for my office, and Makande came running after me. You said you would talk to Luka. I sighed. But I turned back, and walked into Makande's office to see what in the world I needed to talk to Luka about.
Luka was a small kid. He stood up as soon as I walked into Makande's office. I want to go to school. Where are you from son? Ihanu. Do your parents know you have come all this way? My mom and dad are dead, Mr. Vinton. What about your uncles? They're all dead. There's only my grandmother left. "Does she know you're here?" I asked him softly. I told her goodbye, that I had to go to school, and she said it was for the best, that I should try. Did you pass, were you chosen to go to the government school back home in Ihanu? Yes. I didn't have to ask why he wasn't going there. The kid has no shoes, let alone any money to pay to go to school.
Where are you going to sleep tonight Luka? With my friend, Mika. Who is Mika? We went to school together. He came here last week and found a place for us to stay and now he sent for me. He told me he would help me. He said he is planting flowers for Mama Vinton and he will help me go to school. What about his mom and dad? They're dead too.
I had to leave. I had to get out of that office quickly. The room suddenly just seemed too small. I had to get out of there. I had to quickly tell Makande to just sign up the kid up and then take him down to see Babu (grandfather) and tell him to plant flowers in the afternoons. It was the first time Luka smiled.
Luka came all this way with $6 to his name. The little kid worked for someone in his village planting seedlings and that was his pay. I walked back into my office, closed the door behind me, and let myself finally have a good cry. Does it matter if the e-mail does not work, if I am behind in everything, if juggling the money is hard, if everything these days goes wrong and is hard and is frustrating? If Luka can smile, then Steve Vinton sure had better figure out how to smile. With all of its frustrations, the fact remains that we still ended up with the best job anyone could hope for in the world. We get to build schools so that kids like Luka get to go to school.
And I thought He wasn't listening to me.
Steve